yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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