found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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