I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
