my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
