Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
