the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I smell like Dick and happiness
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
