our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
my poor anus
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
