All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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