Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
