But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Come back. Shots need mouths.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
