My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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