then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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