Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
