dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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