dude i'm inner monologue high
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize