Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
