Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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