Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
