I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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