Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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