The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She announced her abortion via fbk
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
