My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize