discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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