did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
