Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
