It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
