Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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