So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
