It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
