Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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