the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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