the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
