AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
