So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
