is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
