Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
