Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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