they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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