i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
