She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
