Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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