No awkward lesbian experiences without me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
