dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
