I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
