i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
