I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
