so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
