there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
