I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
