Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
