I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize