Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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