you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
