I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
