You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
