Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
