maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
