Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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