i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
