also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
her facebook's as public as her vagina
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
As shirtless as possible
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize