just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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