Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
