Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
