if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize