your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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