i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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