Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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