Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
