I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
