yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I pour the whiskey from now on
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
