Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
