Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize