Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
